For the second time, I thought long and hard about whether to write about a topic on The Next Phase Blog. I don’t want readers thinking that I am intolerant and bigoted because I try not to be. But I do think the time has come to evaluate the people and the behaviors that we have chosen to admire and emulate—because they are abnormal.
Among those questions about certain people, I include:
- Are they normal? Or abnormal?
- Do they behave in ways we consider admirable?
- Are they dangerous to themselves and others?
- Would I want to be anywhere near him?
- Has their behavior been affected by chemicals?
Depending on the answers, you might also want to ask:
- Do I want my children to behave this way?
- Would I choose to work for this person?
- Do I recognize that I like what they do but not what they are?
Abnormal Successes
What brings me to this point are recent revelations about men who are currently in the news for one reason or another.
- In a lengthy interview in The Wall Street Journal, Microsoft founder and billionaire Bill Gates suggested that he would likely be diagnosed on the autism spectrum if he were growing up today. His daughter said he has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum.
- Billionaire CEO of multiple companies and self-appointed government cost-cutter Elon Musk discussed being autistic and taking ketamine under medical supervision to mitigate the effects.
- Thirty-seven psychiatrists and psychologists wrote a book about the sociopathic behaviors of President Donald Trump, labeling him, among other things, a malignant narcissist.
The Autism Spectrum
The autism spectrum is a broad and diverse thing that ranges from people who are “high-functioning” to people incapable of functioning in society at all. They go from socially awkward to incapable of managing their own bodies.
The website Autism Speaks provides the following information on Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD):
- 1 in 31 children in the U.S. has autism, up from the previous rate of 1 in 36.
- 1 in 45 adults in the U.S. has autism.
- In the U.S., about 4 in 100 boys and 1 in 100 girls have autism.
- Boys are nearly 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls.
- In the U.S., autism prevalence is lower among white children than other racial and ethnic groups:
- Around the world, 1 in 100 children are diagnosed with autism.
I do not judge them or criticize them. But neither do I want them making decisions about my life.
Early Abnormal Behavior
Back when I was a kid, ASD children would not have been diagnosed with anything. We would have considered them strange, a little bit off, really odd. We would have recognized their abnormal behavior.
Other children, who are often cruel, would have laughed at them and played jokes on them. Adults would have been polite and left their care to their parents. Those parents would have received no assistance from the medical profession, much less the government.
So little was understood about abnormal behavior back then that Mr. Gates’ parents took him to a therapist who probably did not know what to do with him. In his book, “Source Code: My Beginnings, “ Mr.Gates said that the doctor, “over a year succeeded in convincing me (that) my mental style might be a positive thing.”
Abnormal Behavior Today
For years we considered Elon Musk a quirky genius with a plethora of wild ideas that challenged accepted wisdom. Running the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) gave Elon Musk so much visibility, however, that his abnormal behavior became so obvious we couldn’t ignore it. Jumping in the air, waving a chain saw, and throwing Nazi salutes were only a few of the things that led people to become concerned.
Other famous people with acknowledged autism/Asperger’s Syndrome are:
- Actress Bella Ramsay
- Singer Grimes (Claire Boucher)
- Singer Sia
- Actor Wentworth Miller
- Actor Anthony Hopkins
- Singer and actor Courtney Love
- Actor Daryl Hannah
- Singer Susan Boyle
I wonder about Steve Jobs, who ate only fruit and famously wanted to “move fast and break things” so as to create products that were “insanely great.”
Abnormal Behavior and Power
Now we know better how to handle autism. But does that mean we want ASD adults in positions of power and authority? ASD people often find it difficult to make eye contact and to understand facial expressions. “Reading the room” may be beyond them. Those social cues are languages they simply can’t speak.
Fine, we understand and work around that. They work around that. Sia described it as putting her human suit on.
But do we want to ignore abnormal behavior in a prominent person because they have a lot of money, or fame, or power? Do we want to hold them up as examples of how adults can and should behave? We saw for ourselves how much concern Mr. Musk has for the people whose lives he destroys and how much empathy he feels for their plight.
The Sociopath at the Top
For that matter, do we want a sociopath with no capacity for empathy, sympathy, or love in charge of the most powerful country in the world? Clearly, enough Americans do to put him in the White House not once, but twice. Yet even his niece, who is a clinical psychologist, warned us against him. Our current president has shown us how much he likes to humiliate people and takes joy in devastating those he doesn’t like.
I have written about Donald Trump’s sociopathy before. I had hoped never to do so again. Instead, we have an administration of politicians who not only respect and admire him but actually grovel before him. They find new ways to accept his abnormal behavior uncritically and give in to his worst impulses. It took far more years than it should have for the media to even admit that his behavior was strange.
Millions of Americans hold this damaged and dangerous man up to their own children as a model for what it takes to succeed in America. By their very admiration, they say, “This is what we want you to be like.” That’s a very scary thought.
It’s Just Not Normal
We now more know than we used to, but we still seem willing to believe that abnormal “mental styles” are a positive thing. That we should just ignore them or diminish them as behavioral quirks.
What I’m saying here is that we should not ignore abnormal behavior because the person is famous or prominent. We need to acknowledge it. Talk about how it affected the person’s achievements. Understand their behavior in terms of it. Don’t use it to excuse awful deeds or hold it up as an example of how to behave. Don’t look past it to celebrate bullies and admire destroyers of people’s lives.
And above all, don’t allow yourself to think it’s normal behavior.
