The Tartan Army has arrived in Miami and our friends to the south need to, well, chill out. We hosted the Scottish fans here in Boston and they hit our city like a force of nature, leaving it a better and more cheerful place for their visit.

What We Learned from the Tartan Army

Here’s five things we in Boston learned about the Scottish soccer fans who followed their team to the FIFA World Cup. Pay attention and play along: you’ll have a lot more fun.

1. They’re Loud—But in a Happy, Cheerful Way

The Tartan Army sings, cheers, chants, and plays bagpipes. Nothing makes a good day even better than a horde of kilt-wearing Scottish men (and the army is mostly men) marching down the street on hairy legs to the music of many, many bagpipes.

They were so enthusiastic in their love for their team, we rooted for Scotland’s team, too.

The Tartan Army Marching to Fenway Park from Robert Burns Statue

2. They Drink—a Lot

The Tartan Army drank Boston bars and pubs dry. Really. That says a lot in a city that celebrates St. Patrick’s Day like it’s the end of World War II. Drinking establishments and watering holes had to place emergency orders to refill their inventory. Brace yourselves.

3. They Put Traffic Cones on Statues—Any Statues

This seemed odd to Bostonians but we got into the spirit of the thing pretty quickly. I have read the explanation for why they do this but, to me, it just adds up to good-natured tweaking of authority. We understand this, having tweaked some authority ourselves back in 1776.

They had a good time putting orange traffic cones on Boston’s statues from George Washington to Mrs. Mallard and all her ducklings. Edgar Allan Poe got one. The Angel of the Waters got one. Charles Sumner sported an orange cone. We loved it. Bostonians helped them find the traffic cones, probably by lifting them from construction sites and road work. Nobody got hurt. Nothing was damaged. We all had fun.

Mayor Curley wearing his traffic cone

4. They Seize Any Opportunity to Celebrate—Anywhere

When the Tartan Army went to a Red Sox game on Scottish Celebration Night, they stayed after it was over, singing and cheering in the concourse. Where we all stream out after the game and go home, they hung around, making Fenway Park’s rafters ring. The country’s oldest ballpark (1912) hasn’t seen this much celebration since the last time the Red Sox were in the World Series.

Red Sox President Sam Kennedy called it, “…genuinely one of the most moving things we have witnessed at Fenway Park in a very long time.”

5. They Try the Local Food

Scotsmen visited Boston’s many restaurants, sampling food they had never seen before and sometimes couldn’t imagine. The Tartan Army ate clam chowder, lobster rolls, New England fish and chips, glazed donuts, breakfast sandwiches, Ranch Dressing and much, much more. Sometimes they made faces, like I would if I were trying haggis. But they loved it all, especially the free drink refills that we take for granted.

This American custom caused them much consternation as they consumed iced coffee, iced tea and soda in containers that struck them as ginormous. When a refill showed up without them ordering it, they were confused. But once they understood what was happening, they embraced it.

Relax and Enjoy the Tartan Army

Now, I have already seen videos of the Miami PD harassing the Scots who were trying to crown their statues with traffic cones. Please stop doing that. I thought you folks understood having a good time, what with South Beach and all. You’re the land of Spring Break, bikinis, mojitos, and cruise ships. We Bostonians have a reputation for being cold and reserved, but you are taking that mantle on yourselves.

Relax. Understand that these are not rich people taking over a city like Jeff Bezos did to Venice. The Tartan Army is comprised of ordinary folks. They love their team so much that they rounded up enough money to come over here by hook or by crook, including bank loans, family contributions, and even taking out mortgages.

The Tartan Army at Fenway Park

Have a Good Time with the Tartan Army

The Tartan Army is having a good time and they want you to have a good time, too. Just go with the flow, especially if it’s beer that’s flowing. Make them welcome. Share the love. Trust me, you’ll have fun. We sure did. They just left and we miss them already.

In a full-page ad the Boston Sunday Globe said, ““Thank you for the laughter, the bagpipes, and the memories, The World Cup will move on. So will the songs, but we’ll never forget the joy you brought to our city.”

Maybe we can get the Tartan Army to come back for our Patriot’s Day celebration next April. Now, that would be a doubly good time.