The Next Phase Blog usually stays away from political issues but, darn, it’s hard to avoid commenting on this week’s Speaker of the House debacle. Of course, it’s fundamentally a political event but it also brought out the tongue-in-cheek creativity that so often appears on social media.
The late-night comedians had some good perspectives. Jon Stewart says, “This is the best season of C-Span ever.” Jimmy Fallon says, “But this is interesting—according to the Constitution, if they don’t have a speaker by tomorrow, the top contenders have to compete in a dance-off.” And Seth Myers concluded, “You guys can’t even have a red wave amongst yourselves.”
The Four Factions
Sports ideas predominate, as expected, with references to the football playoffs appearing frequently. What combination of wins and losses would allow the various Republican factions to come together on a candidate they all like? That depends, of course, on whether such a candidate exists.
Political Analyst Jon Ralson used soccer when he Tweeted: “Can’t wait to see this go to penalty kicks tomorrow on the House floor.” To which Chris Bender replied, “Don’t like Kevin’s chances if this goes to PKs. Gaetz has been spending a lot of time watching JV girls soccer teams.”
- Moderates (if such a thing exists)
- Conservatarians (Conservatives plus Libertarians)
- Mainstream MAGA (an oxymoron if there ever was one)
- National Conservatives (not your father’s Conservative)
- Have each speaker candidate shoot free throws from the throw line. Best two out of three wins. Nothing but net gets an extra point.
(This is like penalty kicks but takes up less room.)
- Bring in Jeff Probst from @SurvivorCBS to moderate a contest in which speaker candidates build a fire. The first fire strong enough to break the string and raise a flag wins.
(To be conducted outside the Capitol for best results.)
- Try the ever-popular Rock-Paper-Scissors until a candidate wins.
- Send the candidates into the Chopped Kitchen to create a three-course meal from a basket of ingredients. The best chef takes the gavel.
I could go on but I don’t watch many reality TV shows. Twitter and Facebook are full of them, though.
A Sad State of Affairs
The jokes and suggestions are crowding social media, followed only by commentary on what a sad state of affairs this is. Even Fox News’s Sean Hannity called it a “clown show.” Pundits, editors, and news anchors all over the country and overseas are pondering how America could have sunk so low.
But really, folks, who can be surprised?
This is what happens when you elect people to run the government who don’t believe the government should run. The disarray, disunion, and dissention are not an unfortunate side-effect; they’re the point. Usually, however, the Republicans elect a speaker before they begin obstructing, dismantling, and shutting down the United States government.
This year, they started early.