Spy Balloons Over America

All of a sudden, Americans are obsessed with spy balloons floating over the country. To be sure, there is some reason for concern. We don’t want to give spy devices, whether powered or not, free access to airspace over our country.

Why the Spy Balloon Obsession?

Spy Balloon, Alaska, shot down, UFO, UAPPart of the obsession comes from the four devices that have been spotted in the last two weeks and subsequently destroyed. Much of the spy balloon controversy is being powered by hot air from politicians hyping it for political gain, and part of it is just fascination with something new and different.

I find the attention ironic because I’m old enough to remember that the U.S. government for over 70 years dismissed reports of Unidentified Flying Objects, or Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, as weather balloons. The experts deemed them harmless, nothing to worry about. Move along, America, because there’s nothing to see here. Weather balloon equaled easy excuse.

Now, all of a sudden, weather balloons pose an existential threat. These same experts  have been put on notice and must deal with them instantaneously. How times change.

The Spy Balloon Tally So Far

To date, the U.S. Air Force has located and shot down:

  • A round white balloon with what looks like solar panels dangling from it that transected the country before being shot down over the Atlantic Ocean
  • An object the “size of a small car” destroyed over Alaskan waters
  • A cylindrical object with no know means of propulsion shot down over Canada
  • An octagonal device blown up over Lake Huron

German spy balloon, beer stein, hot air balloonSo, now we’re getting an explanation from Rebekah Jones, a geographer and data scientist, that says:

“These weren’t necessarily launched or sent recently, we just never looked for them,” she explains. “Now we are. And we’re finding there are quite a few of them there.”

I wonder if the shapes of these devices connect to different countries. Do the Chinese use round ones, the North Koreans cylindrical ones, and the Russians octagonal ones? Or is this like a balloon festival. It’s just a thought.

My Five Observations

When it comes to this influx of spy balloons, I have a few observations of my own.

  1. F-22, jet fighter, spy balloon, targetThe jet pilots must be having a great time. They get to go up there, target a big white floating object, and blow it out of the sky. For people who join the military so they can “blow shit up,” it doesn’t get any better than that—unless they get to chase it first.
  2. The cause of science has been set back. Before this, another country’s scientific device for gathering totally benign data about the jet stream, weather patterns, and storm cells was safe from interference. Who cared? Besides, all that data could be shared for the greater good of all. We’ll have no more of that, folks.
  3. Any aliens, if they’re watching all this, will be sure to stay above 60,000 feet. Push the edge of the envelope, little gray guys, just don’t get in the way of those commercial airliners. No one—and I mean no one—wants a 747 to suck a balloon into one of its jet engines.
  4. The various committees that have been set up by NASA and the DoD must stop using “weather balloon” as a cheap excuse for an unidentified aerial object. Otherwise, they will have to explain why they didn’t shoot it down before ground observers could report it as a UFO.
  5. Some authority will have to come up with a reason why these devices cause a security threat when the many, many other unexplained devices flying near our military bases did not. Otherwise, why weren’t they taking those reports from military pilots and sailors seriously?

A Word of Advice

Alien Hot Air Balloon, balloon festival, green alienUntil we know more, Americans will be out there, staring up at the sky in the hope of finding the latest UFO/UAP spy balloon. They will all have their cameras at the ready to take pictures and videos of whatever they do see. Some will have guns in case they get the chance to put a few rounds through a low-hanging device. Yee-hah!

A word of advice to the little gray guys up there:

“Keep a low profile for a while. You guys have been getting away with a lot for a long time but we’re on to you now. We have eyes on the ground looking for you-oo. The military is locked and loaded. People are, too. I’m just sayin’.”